Archive: Rant

Prft.

Well hello. Posting from my iPod onto here for the very first time. Ever.

I’m a bad musician. Not that I’m bad in making music – it’s just that I can’t seem to stand by my word. I haven’t written a full song in a long while. I have not touched a guitar longer. I am failing really bad with my piano skills. I keep saying music is my life, but I can’t seem to live up to my own motherfucking expectations.

Life has been pretty good in general to me since I last posted here. I’m 8 months into my job yesterday (Friday the 13th). Should have stayed home and freaked people out with Twitter/Facebook statuses like “damn it where’s my hockey mask when I need it?” but nooo. I had to go to work for the last day of the week and go through a shitty day within a shitty week. And for what? Just so I can get paid. Pah.

But enough about that rant. Here’s an entirely different thing – LOVE. I have come to the conclusion that (and follow me on this) I am the exception to the rules of it. Why? They say when you love, you will be loved in return, sevenfold even. Am I feeling that? No. They also say the law of karma basically means what goes around will always come back around. Has all the love, passion and affection I’ve given come around? No. Lastly, everyone around me is pretty much hanging on. Me? Barely. I claim to be happy, which I am most of the time, but I die in misery every single time I’m reminded that I’m alone, I’ve been single for a looong while, and that every guy I like either fucks me over or is just not that into me. I’m extremely sad and disappointed about this. You can’t even begin to imagine how much.

I want to relocate. I already have a place in mind – a place I love and I know I’ll be comfortable living in. Problem, then? No passport. And I need loads of money to make that happen. Like, shitloads. Gawd. What do I have to sell and/or sacrifice? No, do not say my body because I will fucking kill you.

So what is to become of me and this site and my so-called music career? We may never know until I get a grip and start anew. Properly.

Right. Trust that I’m still around. I may not be on here that often, but you can find me everywhere online.

Until then, so long, y’all…

Lost: online blog buddies

Just out of the blue, I started to wonder if personal blogs are still as cool as they used to be. Now that there are various microblogging platforms such as Twitter & Plurk (and even the “status update” features on sites like Facebook), gone are the days when personal blogs ruled online life. I’ve been an internet user for over a decade (since 1997, to be exact), and so I’ve been a witness to how the internet has been used & how it’s changed all through those years.

If I’m not mistaken, personal blogs reached their peak sometime in the early 2000s. I remember blogging for the first time in the summer of 2002, because I was bored as hell and wanted to try something that my peers haven’t dabbled into (yeah, I have this issue with being unique & original). By December 27 of that year I bought my first domain (the now defunct rocker-girl.net), after getting sick of annoying pop-up ads from free website hosts. I guess I liked blogging because the idea of sharing my thoughts to anybody who’ll listen (or in this case, read) was very appealing to me. I was a girl who had a lot to say but not a lot of guts to say it verbally. I started blogging manually, first getting only a few site visitors – mainly a few close friends – and then eventually branching out to making online friends through commenting.

Then I started getting into various social networking sites. It wasn’t called that way back then. I had a LiveJournal account that I maintained pretty well. I had a lot of Friendster accounts (they were always full – 500 was the maximum back then so I kept making new ones), and a MySpace, which didn’t really catch on where I’m at. I even remember making a Xanga account, and a Hi5 account which I later deleted. I made a few good online buddies in those sites, some of which I still keep in touch with until now. Most of my online buddies, by the way, had a blog or personal site of some sort. They also had AIM, MSN and Yahoo IM – our weapons of choice when it comes to instant messaging.

Somewhere along the way, when I was in college, I lost touch with most of those people. Most of them don’t even have their domains up anymore! It was hard to trace some of them, but those whose full names I remembered, I was able to hunt down on Facebook or Twitter. The few that maintain personal sites don’t even blog anymore. They just have portfolios up on their site or something. If they do blog, it’s at Tumblr, where most posts aren’t even theirs but rather “re-blogs” instead. I’m lucky if they even edit it and put a side comment about their re-blog!

Okay I blabbed too much. Here’s a little timeline of the internet as I remember:

• 1997 – People here started to have email addresses & explore the internet
• 1998 – A few people started creating websites
• 1999 – Everyone starts panicking about the Y2k bug
• 2000 – Everyone was over the Y2k bug hahaha
• 2001 – A lot of people have gotten into web logging a.k.a. “blogging”
• 2002 – I started blogging. lol.
• 2003 – A few of my real-life friends started blogging too
• 2004 – The peak of my online social life. Bloggers from all over the world where my friends. I even could even receive as much as 60 comments per day or blog post.
• 2005 – I blogged less. I still had up to 30 comments per blog post though.
• 2006 – I somehow lost interest in blogging. I still maintained a private journal at LiveJournal though.
• 2007 – You’d say my blog is lucky if I remembered it once a month. People in my class just started to realize what LiveJournal & Blogger/Blogspot is, and so they started blogging too.
• 2008 – Blog what? I’m working. I got introduced to Web 2.0 and the very young, not so popular back then Twitter website.
• 2009 – I started tweeting loads. It took me nearly a year after I registered before I properly tweeted and understood what Twitter was all about. But I became a Twitter expert, so ahead of my time here in the Philippines. Most of them just started & half the time they don’t know what they’re doing.
• 2010 – I freaked out because a lot of my tweets are missing. WTF. Is microblogging going downhill as well? My peers are just starting to get into Twitter still.

PS: If you’re one of my online buddies, I’m sure you’re surprised I still even have this domain. What can I say? I’m committed to it. But if we’ve lost contact, please please PLEASE send me a message in one of the social sites I’m at (look to the sidebar) or leave a comment here. I miss y’all, you know? <3

new site look & new stuff

A few new things to notice about the site:

• There’s Google ads. Hey, I need money too.
• I changed the layout. I used a customizable WP theme.
• The music page went berserk, for reasons I can’t explain. I need to fix it, hmp. It’s fixed! You may now head to the music page to listen to my songs.

So I went out with co-workers last Friday. CRAZY PEOPLE. You decide if that’s a good or bad thing. At one part of the night I felt violated. I’m not kidding. But there’s a bunch of pics, just check my Multiply site (link is at the left sidebar).

Yesterday I hung out a bit at the UST gym. A friend of mine (who’s also a varsity player), kept making fun of me. DUDE. That issue you’re forcing on me and your room mate is SO OVER. ( But it was all in good fun, haha.

After basketball practice, I watched a basketball game with a friend/co-worker. This guy on one of the teams, drove me crazy (in a good way, mind you). He was on his team’s bench, when he saw me and waved! Then after the game, he approached me, held my hand, then let it linger. I don’t know what that means, I don’t even know if it means ANYTHING at all. All I know is when I realized what happened, I was happy :love:

epic BOOYAH!

Damn. Been watching to much of Kim Possible at 3 in the morning. That Ron Stoppable made me say “booyah” a couple of times already!

ANYWAY. Onto business…

1. David Cook & David Archuleta concert – It was AMAZING. I like them both but I never thought I’d SCREAM for Archie. And of course, DC rocked the house down. They did A Daily AntheM’s ending together. For concert media, check out: photos | tweets | videos
2. I’ve been having a stressful bunch of weeks lately. More than two weeks now! Today was especially horrifying. Not naming names or specifying what happened, but all I know is it was unfair. My office laptop’s charger is missing, office tasks were created then done then cancelled, a client from my 2nd job postponed something while another client won’t respond, and on top of that… MY SANDWICH WAS SOGGY! It was barely even a sandwich. I even cried. People thought I broke up with my boyfriend or something. I said, “I wish it was love I was having problems with!” I ended up buying a muffin from Starbucks to make myself feel better, and that’s low.
3. I absented myself from work last Thursday. Originally, I was going to watch basketball before work with a co-worker, but after I just went home for much needed rest. Like I said, too much stress!!! UST (my school) lost to State U that day, while FEU (my friends’ school) won over another college.
4. Spent Mother’s Day with the family. We were complete except for my sister-in-law who spent her day with her mom in the parlor. lol. I gave my mom a CD each of DC and Archie, and she loved them. My brother & his wife gave her a yummy-smelling lotion, my eldest sister & her husband brought food, and my other sister made pasta. My dad drove at 3 or 4am just to buy mom flowers, despite a throbbing, painful left foot. :love:
5. Been missing my friends. Saw a huge bunch of them lately! A lot during the concert, actually. It was pretty funny. Nothing like Idol 7 finalists to bring friends together unexpectedly!
6. And oh yeah. Love life. Hmm. Where am I heading? For me to know, and for you to find out (though that never really made sense to me, haha!)

On a side note, I’m feeling MUCH better now. A Starbucks muffin, a few good friends (including online ones), and music will always make me feel better. And when I got home, my mom heated some of the food she cooked yesterday–nothing like a home made meal. COMFORT FOOOOOOD

PS: Danny Gokey still rules. I love Kris Allen and Adam Lambert though. Who is it for you, Kris or Adam?

PPS: Should I watch the Pussycat Dolls next month?

she’s a psycho.

This is freaky. Someone just broke news to me late last night/early this morning. As in nanginig ako sa galit. I kinda saw this coming. But STILL!!! It shocked me to the nth level! So laking gulat ko when I saw my horoscope sa Friendster. Tsk tsk. I have to fix this, after all I’ve treated that person like a best friend. That person better know the FACTS before listening to that psycho “friend” who fabricates stories! Damay-damay na ‘to, bastusan na eh! LECHE!

Friendster Horoscope for September 13, 2008 – Capricorn (Dec 22 – Jan 19)

The Bottom Line
Your intuitive powers are stronger than ever, now. It’s time to act on that hunch.

In Detail
Everyone around you will be shocked by some unexpected news, today. But not you! You sensed it all along, thanks to your extremely strong intuitive powers, which are stronger than ever, right now. The fact that you will be able to take the news in stride will help you keep your edge over any competitors, and a sweet win will be closer than ever. You should feel free to move forward more often with nothing more than your assumptions to drive you. Trust your gut.

Just make sure that before you conclude things, check all your assumptions if there’s anything to back them up. Remember: When you ASSUME, you make an ASS out of yoU and ME. But mostly you.

get me OUT of here!!! :((

This is CRAZY. It’s so hot in the office for the past week. I don’t get it. Sira ba yung aircon? Will somebody PLEASE fix the goddamn thing. Nahilo ako kahapon, no joke. And today a colleague hyperventilated and had a panic attack! My God! And you expect us to work smoothly? Plus the whole Pasig Day thing. They moved the Pasig Day vacations into individual holidays. Deferred holiday because instead of all of us not having work tomorrow (July 2), we’ll all have separate days when we’ll be on leave. Boo. It sucks because tomorrow’s Rakrakan & Rampahan (or is it the other way around?) of UST. Someone made me go. It could be fun. But damn, it would’ve been more fun if I had no laptop to lug around! Maybe I’ll leave it at a friend’s dorm room if he allows. Hehe.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA ;p

ang KAPAL ng mukha mo IMEE! akala mo kung sino ka! HAHAHA

ay. mali. hahaha. hnd pala dapat ako nagsabi nyan. siguro dapat sa blog nya yan no? ang kapal ko daw kasi. paupload-upload pa ng pic sa friendster nung guy. SORRY, HE ASKED ME TO DO SO. pasabi-sabi pa daw ng mwah. SORRY, NAUNA SYA.

kung ayaw mo sakin, wag mo ko kausapin. wag mo ko plastikin, wag kang magpanggap na kaibigan. tulad nga ng kasabihan, with friends like YOU, who needs ENEMIES?

sorry dear, I TRUST HIM MORE THAN I TRUST YOU. mas mahaba nga pinagsamahan natin, pero hindi nasusukat ang pinagsamahan sa tagal nito kundi sa kalidad nito.

palibasa ksi mga ngkakagusto sayo, panay ayaw mo. ambabait naman nila, maarte ka lang tlga. i feel sorry for them, being blinded by someone that’s not worth it. tsk what a shame. kaya na lang pala pag may ngiging close ako na type mo, nabbwisit ka. nako.

how many times to i have to say it? I’M HAPPY WITH MY LIFE. WHY CAN’T YOU BE HAPPY WITH YOURS?!

iyon lamang po. bow.

wag na kayong makialam.

hnd ko tlga alam ano napapala ninyo sa kakabukitkit ng multiply at friendster at pati ng website ko. tsk tsk tsk. kung wala kayong magawa sa buhay nyo, magpakamatay nlng kayo.. rid the world of your putrid breath & spare us the misery of having to deal with foul people like you. you obviously have attitude problems. if you can’t be happy under your own skin, DEAL WITH IT. don’t use others as comic relief or as a pathetic excuse to feel better about yourself. you guys really need to get a life. amen? one motherfucking AMEN.

ps: i’m happy with my life. why can’t you be happy with yours?

it’s your duty duty to shake your booty booty

normally i read my horoscope for pure entertainment. but for the past few..uhm..weeks, napansin kong andalas na tumugma. but nothing went as specific as this!

hahahaha wala nman tlga ako msabi neto ) so…bale…tatawa nalang talaga ako!

HAHAHA

Friendster Horoscope for April 7, 2008

Capricorn (Dec 22 – Jan 19)

The Bottom Line
It is your duty, as a good friend, to be honest with them. Break it to them gently.

In Detail
It is your duty, as a good friend, to tell someone you care about how you truly feel. Hate your friend’s new significant other? Tell them, tactfully, that you think know they deserve better. Make it clear that this new squeeze does not treat them the way they deserve to be treated. Sure, you’re putting your nose where it doesn’t belong, but the alternative scenario is simply not acceptable. Be sure to frame your criticism in the most positive light possible, and show them you are only thinking of them.

AHAYSOOOOOWS. NGAYON PA? HAHAHA i honestly think wala na akong magagawa. i’mma let karma do the work for me.

attention, attention.

To me, there are three kinds of attention-getters.

First is the one who tries to get attention, but never gets it anyway. It may be more familiar as the wannabe. He/she does anything and everything to get attention from anyone, but it’s either he/she did it wrong or he/she is not worthy of getting attention in the first place. Eventually they either give up or move on.

Second is the one who does nothing or a little something but gets all the attention without trying too hard. In laymen’s terms, it’s the popular one, the hot chick or the gotta-get guy. Either that person was born in prestige, or naturally charming, or something that gets the charisma from everyone. Some want it and love being in the limelight, others just let it go and went on with their lives.

Then there’s the least-liked of all… the person who does ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING, EVEN LIES, DECEIVES AND DESTROYS OTHER PEOPLE’S REPUTATIONS just to get what they want and unfortunately succeeds. The attention whore. That’s what most people are. THEY PUT UP A FRONT, PRETENDING NOT TO CARE BUT DEEP INSIDE IT’S ALL THEY EVER WANTED. Wanna know why I hate these kinds of people? Because I’d rather they admit they want the attention instead of pretending not to like it even if I can already tell that’s not the truth.

MANGLALAGLAG NA AKO. GIRLS WHO ARE WITH POPULAR BOYS. They pretend not to care or even hate the attention they’re getting from the popular boys, but deep down, THEY WANT THE ATTENTION. They like being talked about by other girls who get insecure from what they have. They like getting up that social ladder and being recognized friends of those popular boys. They pretend to HATE being in that lifestyle just so they would SEEM NICE AND HUMBLE. And for what?! The hell with those who’ll think wrongly of you anyway. Why in the world would you care if others would hate you for being you? If you like the person you’re with, THEN JUST BE WITH THEM. Don’t say you don’t want the attention, BECAUSE CLEARLY, YOU DO.

I bow to you, queens of deception. I THOUGHT YOU WERE MY FRIENDS. I hope you get your cake and eat it too, because IT’S POISON. I don’t want anything to do with you. Don’t let me catch you destroying my dignity because you can never underestimate what I’m capable of.